First Big Failure:
In mid-2009, during the financial collapse, it occurred to me that we were in the middle of a once in a lifetime stock buying opportunity. So I decided to take out a loan on my 401K from work and use the money to fund my stock trading account so that I could buy a whole bunch of the stocks that were low due to the crash and then get rich selling them once the crisis was over. (Simple right?) Despite diving into all kinds of books about trading stocks, technical analysis, fundamentals, day trading and swing trading I didn't have a clue about what it took to win at trading stocks. The first week of trading I watched my account grow by $8000 in one day and then all the way back to even before I could execute the sell order. I was using the standard online broker interface which was very slow. So I quickly got the day trader interface and learned all I could. Long story short I blew through my $22,000 loan over the course of five months. This was the biggest failure I had ever experienced in my life. It also brought out the worst in me as I would be in a panic state as trade after trade went south losing hundreds and thousands of dollars. It destroyed my confidence on many levels and even affected my family life and marriage for years after. I wrote off stock trading as a loser's game and decided to move on.
Goodbye Mom:
In July of 2010 my mother died unexpectedly. She had diabetes and for some reason lost track of her insulin over the course of a few days and went into diabetic shock alone in her living room. (We live in another state) So the summer of 2010 was all about the funeral, cleaning out her house and life insurance. When I received the last life insurance check from her employer I realized that it was the last piece of mail that I would ever receive directly connected to my mom. It was the default insurance money that the employer paid regardless if you paid for additional coverage or not and it was a $3000 check. My mother had a very tough life and worked up until one year (retired) before she died. I looked at that check and realized that I did not want the last thing my children got from me to be a small life insurance check and the obligations to close all of my affairs. (House, posssessions, etc) I vowed at that moment as I looked at the check stub that I was going to break free from the rat race and leave a legacy for my children. I would make sure that I was a blessing to them and not a burden. It was about this time that I read Tim Ferriss', "4-Hour Workweek" and I used the check stub as my bookmark.
The Boy in the Rear View Mirror:
Soon thereafter I was leaving one morning for work and noticed my three year old watching me drive down our long driveway to the road. He was smiling & waving goodbye the whole time I drove down the tenth mile long driveway hoping to see me for as long as he could. I knew in that moment that leaving him and my other children each day for work was lost time that I couldn't get back. I vowed at that moment that I was going to figure out a way to work or make money from home so that I could spend time watching my children grow up. I decided that I did not want to miss anymore of their lives.
Internet Marketing:
I was on a business trip to Columbus, OH in May of 2011 and saw an infomercial for Anthony Morrison using the internet to make money online with affiliate links. I was intrigued and YES I ordered the program from a hotel room watching an infomercial. I thought this could be the answer to what I was looking for. I read all of the program and tried my hand at Online Affiliate Marketing. I made a total of $1.00 using the methods in his book. I then started to discover other successful Internet Marketing experts online and their podcasts. For the next year I listened to and read everything I could about Internet Marketing trying to figure out a niche and an audience to go after.
Big Families and Time:
I have many children and it has been my experience that when you have many children everything takes longer than you think it will. Over the last two years I have tried to get an online business going with several initiatives getting a good start and then fading away into the daily grind of appointments, schedules, logistics and work due to my large family.
Round Two Trading Stocks:
The failure that I experienced trading stocks 2009-2010 has been a thorn in my side ever since. I just knew that if I had stuck with it and continued to learn, I could have gotten over the learning curve but mostly the psychological learning curve. Therefore, I am diving back in with no options for failure or quitting. No one in my life is aware that I have embarked on this road again. It is just me, the charts, TimAlerts chat room, and my emotions. I don't talk about it with anyone in my family and only one lifelong friend. (More like a brother) My trading is completely under the radar. To conceal the emotions and psychological effects of trading is an exercise in itself. I must admit that on days I have winning trades it shows in my demeanor as well as the days I have losing trades. However, the exercise of staying below the radar is forcing me to get control of my emotions as a trader.
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